GLAMMING THE JOINT UP WITH DUKE, MARILYN, LAIRD, AND RAQUEL

On the basis of tantalizing but less-than-conclusive evidence, Chas Smith wondered aloud recently if New York surfer Balaram Stack was perchance romantically linked with former supermodel Christie Brinkley, and declared that, if it were true, the Stack-Brinkley unit would be "the best surfer + model/actress/singer connection of all time."

Oh Charlie. Your wordplay is zing and intelligence and 90-proof funny. But your aggregated store of surfer-romance knowledge is the size of a tear cried ...