This interview, written by Matt Warshaw, ran in the August 1987 issue of SURFER, under the title "Brad Gerlach: Talk Show." Gerlach was 21 at the time.

She's got to be rugged. I want a girl I can rough around with. Where I could say, "Let's go climb something high. Here, carry this,” and she wouldn’t snivel. She's gotta speak her mind, and she’s gotta have a good sense of humor.

I like brown-haired girls. I like blondes, too, but I like brown-haired girls more. And long hair. I hate short hair; I don’t think I've ever gone out with a girl with short hair. I like ’em rugged, but I like’ em feminine. I don’t know what it is exactly, but I like Latin girls. Just a touch of Latin. It’s a sultry look. I like a girl who's well-toned, and almost as tall as me. And I’m not out of the '60s: I don’t like big huge tits. That doesn’t cut it. Of course, when I was younger, they didn’t go unappreciated.

So what would a dream date with Brad Gerlach be like?

Let’s see. Well, first of all, I want to make this clear: I’m not a growler. It’s not like, "There’s another one,” and 

. I’m not a sleaze, and there’s a lot of guys on the Tour who are—I want to name names, but I can’t. I’m not a one-night-stand guy. I used to be, ’cause of peer pressure, but not anymore. That blows girls away sometimes, because they expect me to grip 'em, and I don’t. I like to flow. And besides, that stuff’s dangerous these days.

So you're not a growler. You can still have a dream date.

Okay. (Pauses for a moment) It would start with just driving somewhere really fast. Me and my date, in my new car. As fast as it could go, like 140 or 150. Headed for—I don’t know. Headed for the desert. To some kind of small nightclub; nothing like hip or trendy. And there’s all kinds of people there, people who don’t know me. Or if they know me, it’s not like, “Oh, wow, it’s Brad Gerlach.” None of that kind of stuff. It's just really friendly, it’s totally happening, and as soon as we get out of the car, the first person we see yells out, “Alright! How you doing?” And from that point on, we’re on a roll.

We go inside the club and she branches out; she’s off doing her own thing and I’m talking to the boys. Then I’m back with her and we’re dancing, and they’re just playing the killer music. Killer dance music. Then we’d meet someone there, at the club, and they’d suggest something, and a group of us would be all, “Yeah! Let’s do it!” And we’re off. We go slide down a hill on a big piece of cardboard or something. We drive to Vegas. We gamble a bit and win a lot of money.

We’re on a roll. We get married in Vegas, then shine it on a couple hours later. Just for a joke. Then we buy skis and equipment and go to Aspen for a couple days, staying in a cabin up on a hill. Then we fly to Key West to get a tan, and just keep on cruising. My dream date could actually go on for months.


You won your first world tour contest two years ago, at Oceanside, in the Stubbies Pro. You beat Shaun Tomson in the finals. How did that change things for you?

That was my first year on tour. Before that contest, as a pro, I'd been really passive. Back in my NSSA days, I was an animal. Fully aggro. Like, just paddling for waves—I’d always take waves from people. Then I turned pro and that attitude went away. I was too nice. I wanted everyone to like me. It was like (nervous voice), Oh wow, there's Tom Carroll. And I'd be like "Hey Tom, how you doing? Looking good out there." Then I'd walk away going, "I hope he doesn't think I'm a kook." But after winning the Stubbies, I started feeling more like an animal again.

Seems like you've been doing your own thing as a pro, and not following any particular route.

Pro surfing, as a sport, is so young. You can do anything you want; there really isn’t any definite route to follow. Look at Cheyne [Horan]: He’s gone with the single-fin boards, the organic food and the mellow attitude and everything. Then there’s Shaun, the total professional. You can find your own little niche and be yourself; you don’t have to follow anyone.

No, they're not. I agree with what Rabbit [Bartholomew] said recently. I don’t think enough people are exploring the limits of their character, trying to find out what they’re all about. You don’t have to go the NSSA, clean-cut, Ugg-Boots-and-sweats route. And you also don’t have to go the hardcore-smoking-cigs-rebel route, either. I think everybody has to be more themselves. That's it. Just be yourself. Be honest.

What does being a pro surfer mean to you?

Well, it’s more than surfing. It’s personality as well. And maybe it's weird for me to say it, but looks are important. Looks make a big difference. A lot of people aren’t going to understand this, or they’re going to think I’m an idiot, but that’s the way it is. Like, I don’t think I’m Paul Newman, or anything. But I’m not the Elephant Man either. And that’s why I don’t mind spending money on stylish clothes or buying a new car. It’s good for your confidence. You have things, you don’t feel deprived

Do you mind coming off sounding arrogant?

 last year and it went really well, except I sounded super cocky. And I don’t think I’m cocky. Or at least not cocky like I’m pushing it in people's faces. I just get stoked. I’m just really confident and I speak my mind. I don’t try to come across as cocky; I don’t like cocky people. But sometimes, deep inside, I feel really, really confident. And when I feel it, I’ll say it. And I know that if I didn’t have that confidence I wouldn't be where I am right now.

When I was 10, I found a surfboard on the beach. It had a picture of Jesus Christ on it. I can hear ’em out there, the Christians, they’re going: “Jesus gave him surfing; my goodness what an ungrateful son-of-a-gun.”

Right, there’s been a Born Again push in pro surfing this year. Has that had any kind of effect on the Tour as far as grouping is concerned?

I think the Christians are hanging out together. They have something a little more—profound, I guess, in common with each other.

Gary Clisby, Peter King, Dave MacAulay and Pierre Tostee; those are the four who come to mind. There’s others. And I guess they hang out because they can talk about it with each other.

When a Born Again tries to convey stuff to me, I always have other ideas. I’ll say, “Yeah, but how do you explain 

" And it always ends up—well, we don’t argue, but we hardly ever agree. I believe in a lot of things. But I don't believe when we die we go to heaven and sit there and everything’s perfect.

I don’t know. I think you just move on. Sort of reincarnation, but not like coming back as a cow, or a roach or whatever. I don’t even know if you come back on this planet. I think you take everything you’ve learned here and just . . . move on. I can relate it to karate, I guess. You get better you move on to the next belt, higher and higher. (Pause) But my views change every two months, so . . .

Some religious people would say you’re doomed.

Well, by Born Again standards, if I went to heaven I think I'd be bored. I'd rather go to where all my friends are going. I mean, what is Hell? You go and sit in a circle and there’s burning rings around you? I don’t know about that. I don’t think so. But as for the Tour—it’s not like we’re going, “Uh oh, there go the Christians.” And they’re not going, “Uh oh, there go the sinners.” It’s cool. I try to refrain from using any offensive language when I talk to them.


What music are you listening to these days?

The Beastie Boys are unreal. It’s just too hot, they’re mixing rock and rap, and it’s totally innovative. Oh, and I saw Bon Jovi the other night. I dig Bon Jovi. I always liked ’em, then I saw the concert and it was outrageous.

All different kinds of stuff. Diverse stuff. But hardcore music mostly. Ted Nugent and Zeppelin and AC/DC. I like lyrics; I really get off when the lyrics are right.

Like AC/DC’s "Walk All Over You." I love that song! I picture myself on the beach, going (points his finger), “I'm going to walk all over you!”

You haven't managed a win against Tom yet. Is that messing with your mind?

At first it wasn’t, then it was, and now it’s not. Last year I was going, “God, can I ever beat this guy?” But right now, I figure it's just a matter of time. (Pause) I think f I'd beaten him right off the bat, I wouldn’t have learned anything. Each time we meet I learn more about what it takes to beat him.

It’s going to take me having to surf the best I can. And I’m going to have to start catching better waves.

(Long pause) I think it would be a really fucking tight heat.

I swear, the Tour is so much fun. It’s like . . . France, for instance. We’d finish dinner at midnight, we’re dancing till two in the morning—and everybody’s out dancing—and some guys are getting dragged home at four.

Whoever’s most sober. So here’s one of the more classic stories from last year; this was actually in South Africa, in Cape Town. Shaun won the contest [the 1986 Spur Steak Ranch Pro], I got 2nd, and I’d just taken over the ratings’ lead. So I thought it was appropriate to get a few beers in me. I’m not driving or anything, let’s celebrate. At the awards’ banquet I went up to do my speech for getting 2nd, I had these little round sunglasses on, and I can barely remember the speech, but the first thing I said was, “Does anyone here want to fight?!” I really didn’t think I’d surfed that well in the contest, so I’m up there, sort of wobbling, and I said something like, "Hey! (pause) You guys ain’t seen nothing yet!" That's about all I remember of the speech, really.

That was the night you got the dance circle going.

Ha! Yeah, that was all the guys who had done well in the contest, a few spectators, and a bunch of chicks. We all got in a big circle, we had a couple bottles of wine, which got passed around the circle. We’re all dancing in place, in this big circle, taking turns dancing in the middle, like Soul Train. So that's happening, and all of a sudden Shaun—Shaun’s got his shirt off, okay? Then Pagey (Robbie Page) is doing the Worm on the floor. Then 

 doing the Worm. It was too hot! Shaun! He’d just won the contest, and he threw all caution to the wind.

It sounds like you have fun more or less around the clock.

Well, I’m young. I get up in the morning, and I have fun just getting dressed. This is a good time for me, you know?

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