Tom Morey

Seattle, Washington, 1991

My idea of a true surfer is a guy with practically no muscles: A pure loafer, just barely squeaking through it all.

“Bazooka: Tom Morey Fires Back into the Past, Forward into the Future,” written by Morey, ran in the January 1992 issue of The Surfer’s Journal. This version has been shortened and edited. Morey was 56 at the time of writing.

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For starters, I don’t even know what surfing is. Like, where does snagging a free ride leave off and “working” (jerking the board all over the place to impress friends, overweight judges and girls who might be watching from the beach) begin?...